From my search in the Book of Mormon today, I found hard doctrines and piercing questions stung my heart.
“And thus we can behold how false, and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men; yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and proper those who put their trust in him.
“Yea, and we may see at the very time when he doth prosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of precious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One–yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity.” (Helaman 12:1-2)
These thoughts cause me to examine my heart:
Will I forget Him?
“Lord, is it I?” (Matthew 26:22)
And my Savior is asking, “Will ye also go away?” (John 6:67)
And I want to answer with my whole heart and soul, “No, Lord, I will never leave Thee, I will never forget Thee or betray Thee.”
But my question is, how?
How do I do this when the natural, carnal man is “quick to be lifted up in pride…quick to boast…slow…to remember the Lord their God, and give ear unto his counsels, yea, how slow to walk in wisdom’s paths!” (Helaman 12:5)
And in His goodness, the Lord answers: “And thus we see that except the Lord doth chasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with death and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not remember him.” (Helaman 12:3)
Is this one of the reasons there is death and darkness and affliction and heartbreak and trial and storm everywhere we turn in this fallen world? To bring us back to Him? To help us remember Him in the depths of humility? Perhaps.
Ann says, “All is grace.” And it is. The Lord is over all and cradles each our lives in the palm of His hand, clothing us as the lilies of the field, and when it is eternally hard to see how our trials will bring us happiness, we must simply have faith in the Almighty that one day, our furnaces of affliction will have fired our souls into pure gold…when all the dross and impurities have melted away. (See 1 Peter 1:7)
And to be fit for the Kingdom, we must be fit…exercised through much trial. Else, how will we feel worthy to be in the Savior’s presence, eternally living in His kingdom, if we have never experienced the bitter? He, who was perfect, descended below all things, and we who are ever so imperfect wish to be exempt? The thought makes reason stare. We are to follow His example in all things, even to Gethsemane and Calvary. Only when we have passed through heart-wrenching experiences will we ever feel worthy to live with Him again…because even our greatest suffering cannot hold a candle to what He suffered infinitely for all mankind.
This is the bitter that will one day be sweet, Eucharisteo. Full Eucharisteo and undefiled.
May I never forget, or leave, or forsake.
May I remember, even in my wealth, even in my poverty. May I remember Thee, and all the good Thou hast done.