Today the morn began with a cloud of gloom on my head and remembrances of all that is worrying me and how weak I really am.
But then a feast in the word of God gave me new hope.
The story of King Lamoni has always touched me. How he had been taught from his youth incorrect traditions and untruths. How he had walked in ignorance his whole life, never knowing the doctrine of God or the Savior or the atonement.
And when he was finally given the glorious truths by the inspired missionary, Ammon, his heart was changed and he cried unto the Lord for mercy.
Subsequently, he fell to the earth and remained in this state for several days as he was taught in vision from on high. The queen was concerned. Was her husband dead? But Ammon comforted her with the words, “…he sleepeth in God, and on the morrow he shall rise again;” (Alma 19:8)
And the verse that touched my heart so deeply today was this:
“Now, this was what Ammon desired, for he knew that king Lamoni was under the power of God; he knew that the dark veil of unbelief was being cast away from his mind, and the light which did light up his mind, which was the light of the glory of God, which was a marvelous light of his goodness–yea, this light had infused such joy into his soul, the cloud of darkness having been dispelled, and that the light of everlasting life was lit up in his soul, yea, he knew that this had overcome his natural frame, and he was carried away in God–” (Alma 19:6)
And as I read, I wanted this experience of light infusing my soul with joy and dispelling all clouds of darkness. But how?
The answer came quickly.
I needed to fast from ingratitude and feast upon all of the goodness that the Lord is giving me.
I knew I needed to continue what I have been trying to practice all year–Eucharisteo, daily thanksgiving, praise to my Father. And this I needed to do more fervently than I have been mustering these last few months. My 1000 Gift List had only reached 616, and I knew I needed to recommit to writing down the gifts, the graces, the tender mercies from on high…every day…and many times during the day. I knew I needed to rededicate my efforts in this cause so I can finish this year having fulfilled my goal of giving the Lord my daily praise for all of His goodness, His mercy, His grace.
And I will chronicle this journey, this practice, this 3-month project here…because this feasting on gratitude will surely produce great happiness on my continual quest for happiness.
I sat down and pulled out my Gift List and scrawled out mercies until I reached 630.
And now my soul feels satisfied as it has been infused with gratitude and empowered with the Spirit.
I stand forever grateful for the tender mercy upon tender grace that the Lord gives to me.
The cloud has gone now. And “the light of the glory of God, which [is] a marvelous light of his goodness” is warming my soul like the rays of Autumn sunshine.
It’s yet again, a new beginning.
