When happiness drifts just out of reach, there is always a culprit. I identified one the other day.
Comparing.
Nothing new. Or fancy. Nothing novel or earth-shattering. Just plain-old-caught-up-in-the-cycle-of-feeling-sorry-for-yourself-comparing.
And it’s really hard to stop that downward spiral once it’s started.
The trick is to flood those comparisons with a torrent of acceptances. And while in theory, it’s a revolutionary idea, I’m still working on the execution of something so simplistically simple.
In truth, we are all flawed and yet we all have glowing strengths as well. So, instead of hi-jacking happiness with the comparison culprit, we need to accept ourselves just as we are.
Isn’t that what our Father in Heaven does for us? He accepts and loves us, and yet at the same time, inspires us onward, upward, and in a steady course set for the higher path?
So, on a notecard [which is absolutely the handiest and most essential note-taking tool in my opinion {but you may also substitute any scratch paper, sticky note, journal, or drawing pad…}] list out your strengths. It might help to get a trusted loved one’s opinion about what your core strengths are, seeing as we sometimes have a hard time identifying just what they are.
A Few from my List:
*Love of my Savior, the gospel, and all things spiritual
*Sincere desire to do and be good
*Forever Analytical, and prone to pondering and deep thinking
*Enthusiastic loving of my little children
*Brimming with creativity and passion for a host of hobbies/talents
*Love of reading and all good and inspiring books
*Photography
Next, take a second notecard and record a list of what you can accept about yourself. This isn’t an excuse list for our favorite sins or bad habits. It’s an honest look at who we are, and a sigh of relief for keeping that pesky perfectionism in check. It doesn’t mean we can’t change or progress; it’s simply way of taking a deep breath, saying, “This is who I am, and that’s okay for now.” In all reality, every time I give myself permission to love myself as I am, I ALWAYS automatically want to try harder to be better. And this is the beauty of acceptance.
A Few from my List:
~I accept that I don’t (and can’t) know everything about the future and that’s okay. Faith is key here.
~I accept that I am unconfident in just about everything…it’s okay that I have a hard time in this area. I will learn someday how to master this area because I am seeking.
~I accept that I am slow to decorate…The empty spaces overwhelm me, but I need to accept that I need time to find all the right pieces for all the right places.
~I accept my cooking…it’s small and simple right now. Everything is always homemade and healthy (and I think delicious)—but it’s hardly a candidate for a table on the cover of Taste of Home. And that’s okay. I have little ones now and so simplicity is the essence of everything we embrace. It’s all about Comfort Food and comforting hearts.
~I accept that I don’t know yet if I’ll have a large or a smallish family. My physical, emotional, and financial capacity is yet to be determined and I’m okay with living life with my three little ones as if our family is complete. And if the feeling comes that another little one needs to join us, I’ll know.
~I accept that I have some health problems and probably always will.
Will you accept the challenge to accept yourself?
Keep your cards and read over them when you’re happy, and even more when that comparison culprit comes sneaking around your quiet corners.
Feel the love of a loving Father, and allow yourself to love yourself.
